5 Secret Steps to Reaching Your Goals

Want to know how to increase the odds of reaching your goals by 77%? Watch this short & creative video by Kim Avery. Kim is on staff at Professional Christian Coaching Institute, where I’m currently getting certified as a Life Coach. She’s also a marketing guru and is helping me personally with launching Success That Matters Coaching. I couldn’t be more excited. Enjoy the video!


Question: So what stuck out to you in the video? What step do you get hung up on? You can leave a comment by clicking here.


2014 Will Be Exactly As You Expect It To Be

Have you ever heard of the Pygmalion Effect?

Henry Ford Quote Whether you think you can


In the late 60s, Robert Rosenthal conducted an experiment where an entire elementary school was given an IQ test. The test scores weren’t given to the teachers, but the teachers were told that 20% of the students scored high and could be expected to “bloom” intellectually over the coming year. Here’s the key part…the teachers were given the names of those students expected to bloom.

The “exceptional” students were chosen at random. Yet because the teachers expected them to perform at a higher level than the other students, they actually did perform exceptionally better!

So How About You?

January 1st is just a memory now. We’re just three weeks into the new year, but by now most of our resolutions have either been broken or completely forgotten.

If you listen to Dan Miller much, sooner or later you’ll hear him recommend the book “The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale. I actually listened to the audio version before reading the book, and when I first heard it, one of the statements jumped out and grabbed me. Nightingale said this:

“We are where we are because that is exactly where we really want to be – whether we’ll admit that or not.”

I didn’t like that statement.
I disagreed with it.
I turned off the cd and argued with it.

“How can he say I’m right where I want to be???” No I’m not! I want to be 30 pounds lighter. I want to be more successful! I want to have a better marriage!”

But slowly I began to realize he was right. I AM where I want to be.

I’m not where the idealist in me wants to be, or the dreamer in me wants to be. But the core of who I am, the part of me that runs the ship day to day and makes the vast majority of my decisions…yeah…I’m right where that part of me wants to be.

You see, if I lose weight, it’s going to cost me something. I’m going to have to stop eating pizza, and actually exercise sometime. And if I want to be more successful, I’m going to have to put in the time, pay the price in self-discipline to show up day after day to grow this thing. And if I want a better marriage, guess what? I’m going to have to pursue my wife again like I did when we were dating, which takes energy and time, two commodities in short supply right now.

So in a real sense, I was exactly where I wanted to be. In a risk-free comfortable life that didn’t really require too much of me.

Can you relate? Are you where you want to be (not the dreamer you, the real you)?

Screw Resolutions

Here’s where it gets real. Stats show that 50% of us make resolutions. Within three weeks 70% of us who made them have already broken them.

So what does it take for real change to occur?

I think it goes back to the Pygmalion Effect. Do you really believe you will succeed at your goals? If, deep down, you expect that you’re going to fail, then you’re going to fail. So set goals that are attainable & realistic for you.

I don’t usually say this, but if you keep striking out maybe stop trying to swing for the fence. Just shoot for first base this time and see what happens. Give yourself an easy win. Then another. Then another. Win by win you’re building momentum and success.

Right beliefs + Right Actions = Success.

So here we are. Three weeks into 2014. You will get what you expect this year. Not the dreamer you that shoots for the moon on New Years Eve. But the real you. The one who gets tired, who loses vision for what can be, who gets discouraged at the lack of progress.

To be successful you have to guard your expectations like the apple of your eye. Because you will get what you expect.

Don’t give up. Plan the work and work the plan. Stay the course. You will get there.


Question: What is one “small step” that you can take the next 30 days that will start to get momentum back? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Wesley Wiley | Life Coach | How to use Pinterest to Drive Business

If your business has any kind of online presence, you should embrace Pinterest. Here’s why. Neil Patel over at QuickSprout put together this incredible infographic showing the power of Pinterest. 

How to Increase Your Pinterest Engagement by 275%
Courtesy of: Quick Sprout


Question: What is one action you can take this week to increase your traffic from Pinterest? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

The Power Of Shining Eyes

I recently watched this TED talk about why everyone should love classical music. There’s a lot of life lessons shared in the video…but what stuck out to me the most was about asking these questions:

  • How am I to live so that those around me have shining eyes?
  • If my wife and children don’t have shining eyes, what does that say about me?

In the world of internet video, 20 minutes is an eternity, but it’s well worth it.


Question: What stuck out to you the most from the video? You can leave a comment by clicking here.


Naming Your Bridge

This was a little something I shared with my Facebook community. I’ve found this to be a powerful principle of “naming your bridge.”

naming your bridge

There’s power in naming things.

Think about it. The first job that ever existed on this planet was to give names to all the animals.

Names provide identity and clarity.

Growing up in Missouri, I realized you can’t even cross a tiny bridge over a tiny creek in the middle of nowhere without the bridge having a name.

There is a gap between your present reality and the life that God has for you. And there is a bridge that will help you cross that gap. Have you named it?

STM 003: A New Paradigm on Purpose [Podcast]

In this episode, I talk about a new paradigm on purpose. So many people are frustrated at the lack of clarity they have regarding their purpose. Perhaps there’s a reason for that.

Purpose is a Puzzle

Purpose is like a puzzle…some people know what the final picture is supposed to look like, but most of us only get a few pieces at a time. But is there a way to get more pieces of the puzzle if you feel the need to get greater clarity? Let’s find out.

This One’s For The Ladies

I ran across this video on Facebook recently. It’s worth sharing.

The Two Best Days Of Your Life

We all can get very specific on the day and time when we were born. But for too many of us, we have no idea why we were born. I believe you can know, in a general sense, the answer to “why” you were born. But more than that, I believe you can know the specific and detailed “why” for the season of life that you are in. If you’re not clear on your “life” purpose, start by defining your “season” purpose…what you are called to do in the season of life you are currently in.

Mark Twain Quote

Don’t get overwhelmed if the answer to your life purpose is vague. Just pull out a journal, grab a cup of coffee, set aside 30 minutes of solitude, and ask God this question:

Get Off The Nail – How to use Pain as a Motivator for Change

This post is inspired by a story I read by Dan Miller in the book “The Rudder of the Day.” (Side note: I love Dan Miller’s work, especially his 48 Days podcast. Find more at www.48days.com).

Get Off the Nail Dan Miller Quote

From Dan Miller’s book The Rudder of the Day:

I heard a story from my friend Bob about an old dog lying on the front porch. A neighbor approached the porch and could hear the dog softly moaning. He asked the his friend why the dog was whimpering. And the owner said: “He’s lying on a nail.” Predictably the man said, “Well, why doesn’t he move?” To which the owner replied, “I guess it doesn’t hurt quite that much yet.”

Henry Cloud Quote

What Else?

A powerful question we use with life coaching is “what else?”

We’ll ask an open ended question to let the client explore and discover what’s going on inside of them, and then after they’ve answered all they know to answer, we’ll sometimes ask “what else?”

You’d be amazed at how much clarity comes after asking that question.

So let me ask you: What pain have you been dealing with in your life that just hasn’t gotten bad enough to do anything about?

Once you’ve answer that question to yourself, here’s the follow-up:

What else?

I write this because it was in asking myself “what else” that I got some needed revelation on some pain in my life that I’ve tolerated rather than actively doing anything about.

Another great question is this:

What pain will you experience if you don’t make the changes you feel you need to make?

Pain is Powerful

Pain is a powerful motivator. But let it do it’s job. If you ignore it, often the consequences are much greater. You can always pay the price later, but the price goes up the longer you wait. Don’t waste the pain, listen to it.

What is it telling you you need to do?


Question: What is one area in your life where you’ve been sitting on the nail and tolerating the pain rather than taking action? Be brave! You can leave a comment by clicking here.