Three Essentials of Marriage

I won’t pretend like I’m a perfect husband. Most days I’m a pretty average guy, and sometimes forget that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

But occasionally I do something right. 

The picture above says all that needs to be said, so I’ll keep this short.

In our marriage, we’re great at:

  • Number 1: Beauty Sleep: Every Sunday I get up with the kids, feed them breakfast, change diapers, etc. Beth gets up when she wants to, takes a shower, enjoys coffee in bed, etc. I wish I had more margin to do this more often for her. She’s an amazing mom.
  • Number 3: Weekly date night (this costs us dearly, sitters aren’t cheap, neither are dates, at least not the ones we remember). But the cost of NOT doing this is MUCH greater. It’s worth every dime. So do what you need to do…swap sitting with another couple, eat before you go out and just take a walk. Make it happen.

Number 2 is where I falter. The other two are built into the schedule, so they happen every week whether I feel like it or not.

But we’re not as proactive about number 2. We usually make it happen when Beth can tell she’s really needing some alone time. I’d say we average at least twice a month.

Here’s how it works for us. She’ll typically leave the house around 5:30, and I’ll feed the kids, put them to bed, etc. She’ll go out to eat somewhere fun (she loves Burger 21, but don’t tell anyone who thinks she’s a vegan), and do a little shopping at a local mall or maybe Marshalls.

Thankfully she doesn’t spend much, it’s more about just getting some alone time to remind herself that she has an identity about from being a mom. 

What prompted this post was a comment Beth made about how she knows moms who joke about how they haven’t slept-in in years.

That’s just crazy to me. What the heck are their husbands doing???

Now, I know guys, you’re busy and don’t have time for all this stuff. Then let me ask you, what are you doing that is more important than spending time with your kids and serving your wife?


I watch the kids for only a couple of hours and I’m totally exhausted…I don’t know how moms do this all day long every single day! It is MUCH easier to go into work than to watch kids.

So men, we all made a vow to love our wives till death do us part.

To be fair….no one told us how intentional we had to be to make this work. When dating, it’s so easy to just run off of emotions. But after the honeymoon, and especially after kids, you simply have to be intentional about leading your relationship into a healthy place where it can thrive.

And if your wife is exhausted, there will be no thriving…only surviving. Just watch the kids all day and you’ll understand why she always has a “headache.”

But what’s the alternative?

The world has enough fizzled out marriages.

Please don’t be another one.


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