Men, like it or not, we all deal with feeling inadequate at times. My favorite book ever, Wild At Heart by John Eldredge, is based on the premise that at the core of every man’s heart is this question:
“Do I have What It Takes?
Since I’ve read this book five times now, it’s message obviously rings true to me. I’ve also taken other men through the book, and found I’m not alone in wrestling with this question.
I’m not talking about minor stuff, like “do I have what it takes to change a tire.”
This question confronts me, as it does with most men, in the most challenging situations.
- Do I have what it takes to really live out my purpose?
- Do I have what it takes to raise my children in such a broken world?
- Do I have what it takes to capture my wife’s heart, despite her front row seat to all my issues?
- Do I have what it takes to be courageous at work, and speak up when needed?
I know that the core of who I am is a new creation made in the image of God. But our default responses usually reveal what we really believe. And too often, when life demands that I step up and be the man, my default response is passivity.
Passivity is automatic when you feel inadequate.
So how do we “fix” this?
I recently wrote about the power of affirmations.
Transformation comes by renewing our minds (see Romans 12), and affirmations are the fastest way I know of to do that. So I created an affirmation for myself to “renew my mind” regarding feelings of inadequacy.
Basically, I’m trying to change my default answer regarding whether or not I have what it takes from “probably not” to “Absolutely!”
Here it is:
“I have everything I need right now for LIFE and GODLINESS!”
It’s based on 2 Peter 1:3:
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”
The rest of the chapter is pretty amazing as well, but let’s focus on verse 3.
Because of my relationship in Jesus, I have been given literally everything I need for life (marriage, career, raising a family, finances, health, etc), and godliness (grace, forgiveness, love, mercy, redemption, access to Jesus, faith, holiness, etc).
In other words….
YOU ARE NOT INADEQUATE – EVER!
YOU ALWAYS HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!
Screw the fear thats holding you back!
Silence that paralyzing voice that’s always saying “I don’t know what to do.”
Punch passivity in the face as hard as you can!
Don’t our feelings of inadequacy come from feeling like we’re missing something? Declaring the truth that you already have everything you need to be successful in every situation will kill the power of inadequacy in your life.
YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!
Does this mean that everything will be perfect when you try to speak order into life’s chaos?
But it will be a thousands times better than being passive.
Here’s your homework.
If this post has stirred something up – connected with you on a deeper level – then you need to take action.
On two separate 3×5 cards, simply right down “I have everything I need right now for life and godliness.”
Don’t worry about memorizing the whole verse, you can do that later. The goal here is to get the truth of the verse deep into your subconscious brain (where your beliefs hang out). We’re wanting to change those default thoughts which takes time & repetition.
You’ll know you’ve succeeded when a pressure-filled situation presents itself and your default response is “I have everything I need right now for this situation.”
Why two cards?
Science has proven that fastest way to change our thinking is through repetition.
Tape one card to your bathroom mirror and repeat it at least 5 times when brushing your teeth in the morning.
Keep the other one by your bed so you will remember to repeat it at least 5 times at night.
Heck…go crazy…write it on 10 cards and place them all over the place. Coffee pot, dashboard, fridge, etc.
Keep in mind – that your brain doesn’t “feel” any changes happening. This isn’t magic and it’s definitely not overnight. Chances are good that your brain is pretty crusty with negative thinking and it’s going to take some time to break through the hard ground to plant the right thoughts in there.
Commit to this for at least 90 days.
It’s only going to take you about 45 seconds a day to do this. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by giving this a shot.
You have what it takes.
[reminder]When are you most tempted to go passive?[/reminder]